October 25th, 2015 - (Ann's Pick)
The Federal - The reverse mullet of bars: All dive on the outside. All class on the inside.
For some odd reason there was a herd of middle-aged women sitting in lawn chairs on the sidewalk to the left of this picture. I do not know what they were waiting for, but the umbrellas and bags of snacks told me that they were in for the long haul. I know that this place does concerts upstairs. Perhaps they couldn't wait to get in to see "Ian Roller and Friends" perform some smooth jazz.
Before I go any further, I'm going to put something in front of you:
I'll just let that sink in...
...
...
...
...you good? Good.
SO. Parking in North Hollywood is usually a clusterfuck. But on this part of Lankershim and surrounding streets, parking is free on Sundays, and none too shabby. I found a spot right across the street from the restaurant. A mere 63 second walk away.
They only serve brunch on the weekends in this bar. I arrived at 10am (which is when they open) and was asked if I had a reservation. They were able to seat me, but put forward that around 11am, it is impossible to get a table without a reservation for their brunch. The early minion gets the banana, here.
The menu is quite abbreviated (about nine entrees, and four sides) but it all looked real good. I did not have coffee this time around. For one, they didn't have any. The other reason was that I was dedicated to trying to find the bottom of the bottomless mimosas. The mimosas were good, if a bit on the light side. Which is totally fine. The afternoon hangover can get a little rough. Especially when I have to sleep in my car for two hours while I wait to sober up and drive home.
I had the breakfast tacos, opting for mushrooms as my "meat" of choice.
Oh yeah, I also had a bread basket. The tacos were TINY, but they had a wonderful creme-sauce on top of them that seemed to be a mushroom base. The bread basket was everything you love about grandma's kitchen. Banana-nut bread, zucchini bread, and four tiny blueberry muffins. Complete with butter and jam.
Ann opted for the polenta with chorizo and feta.
She ate it slowly, but said that it tasted wonderful; even when cold. It's a LOT of food. And, like a couple of girls I dated in my mid 20s, it looks spicier than it actually is. Still, a hearty, filling meal.
Ann's sister joined us! Her name is Libby Winkler, and she had the grilled cheese and french fries.
KIDDING! This is a breakfast sandwich with breakfast potatoes. You can see the wonderful helping of egg peeking out from the back of the sandwich. As Libby talked about how slow Ann eats, Ann professed that she didn't like sandwiches. Doesn't. Like. Sandwiches. ...you know who else didn't like sandwiches, Ann? Hitler. Hitler didn't like sandwiches. You still hate sandwiches, Ann? Hmm?
They certainly keep your mimosa intake consistent here, though. We went through two and a half of those giant carafes, between the three of us. Codie made a late appearance, and while she didn't have any mimosa, she certainly nodded in appreciation at the size of the second 2 Liter science beaker of mimosa we were chugging through.
You can analyze the atmosphere and the location all you like on this place. And you'll get a lot of good, and a few things to criticize. But the key point here is that spending fifteen bucks for the ability to get shit-house drunk at 11am is a great excuse to go out in the late morning to this place. The fact that you get fed good food while it happens, is the greatest bonus I can think of. Well done, Federal Bar. Well done.
With Phillip "Hit Twice" Meyer, Ann "Sandwich Hater" Beckette, Libby "Annsister" Winkler, and Codie "Pumped Up" Beck
www.thefederalbar.com
The Federal - The reverse mullet of bars: All dive on the outside. All class on the inside.
For some odd reason there was a herd of middle-aged women sitting in lawn chairs on the sidewalk to the left of this picture. I do not know what they were waiting for, but the umbrellas and bags of snacks told me that they were in for the long haul. I know that this place does concerts upstairs. Perhaps they couldn't wait to get in to see "Ian Roller and Friends" perform some smooth jazz.
Before I go any further, I'm going to put something in front of you:
I'll just let that sink in...
...
...
...
...you good? Good.
SO. Parking in North Hollywood is usually a clusterfuck. But on this part of Lankershim and surrounding streets, parking is free on Sundays, and none too shabby. I found a spot right across the street from the restaurant. A mere 63 second walk away.
They only serve brunch on the weekends in this bar. I arrived at 10am (which is when they open) and was asked if I had a reservation. They were able to seat me, but put forward that around 11am, it is impossible to get a table without a reservation for their brunch. The early minion gets the banana, here.
The menu is quite abbreviated (about nine entrees, and four sides) but it all looked real good. I did not have coffee this time around. For one, they didn't have any. The other reason was that I was dedicated to trying to find the bottom of the bottomless mimosas. The mimosas were good, if a bit on the light side. Which is totally fine. The afternoon hangover can get a little rough. Especially when I have to sleep in my car for two hours while I wait to sober up and drive home.
I had the breakfast tacos, opting for mushrooms as my "meat" of choice.
Oh yeah, I also had a bread basket. The tacos were TINY, but they had a wonderful creme-sauce on top of them that seemed to be a mushroom base. The bread basket was everything you love about grandma's kitchen. Banana-nut bread, zucchini bread, and four tiny blueberry muffins. Complete with butter and jam.
Ann opted for the polenta with chorizo and feta.
She ate it slowly, but said that it tasted wonderful; even when cold. It's a LOT of food. And, like a couple of girls I dated in my mid 20s, it looks spicier than it actually is. Still, a hearty, filling meal.
Ann's sister joined us! Her name is Libby Winkler, and she had the grilled cheese and french fries.
KIDDING! This is a breakfast sandwich with breakfast potatoes. You can see the wonderful helping of egg peeking out from the back of the sandwich. As Libby talked about how slow Ann eats, Ann professed that she didn't like sandwiches. Doesn't. Like. Sandwiches. ...you know who else didn't like sandwiches, Ann? Hitler. Hitler didn't like sandwiches. You still hate sandwiches, Ann? Hmm?
They certainly keep your mimosa intake consistent here, though. We went through two and a half of those giant carafes, between the three of us. Codie made a late appearance, and while she didn't have any mimosa, she certainly nodded in appreciation at the size of the second 2 Liter science beaker of mimosa we were chugging through.
You can analyze the atmosphere and the location all you like on this place. And you'll get a lot of good, and a few things to criticize. But the key point here is that spending fifteen bucks for the ability to get shit-house drunk at 11am is a great excuse to go out in the late morning to this place. The fact that you get fed good food while it happens, is the greatest bonus I can think of. Well done, Federal Bar. Well done.
With Phillip "Hit Twice" Meyer, Ann "Sandwich Hater" Beckette, Libby "Annsister" Winkler, and Codie "Pumped Up" Beck
www.thefederalbar.com
I literally live a five minute walk away. You could have come and sobered up on my couch. Related, I didn't realize that was the SECOND mimosa tub you were going through. No wonder.
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